My trip to Walmart

Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit the Wonder Dog, and was in the checkout line when the woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant?

So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward, with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet, and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me.

I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter, and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack -- he was laughing so hard.
Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.

Leonard Cohen - Who by fire

And who by fire?
Who by water?
Who in the sunshine?
Who in the night time?
Who by high ordeal?
Who by common trial?
Who in your merry merry month of May?
Who by very slow decay?
And who shall I say is calling?
(Who shall I say is calling?)

And who in her lonely slip?
Who by barbiturate?
Who in these realms of love?
Who by something blunt?

Who by avalanche?
Who by powder?
Who for his greed?
Who for his hunger?
And who shall I say is calling?
(Who shall I say is calling?)

And who by brave assent?
Who by accident?
Who in solitude?
Who in this mirror?
Who by his lady's command?
Who by his own hand?
Who in mortal chains?
Who in power?
And who shall I say is calling?
(Who shall I say is calling?)

Ferry Corsten Ft Armin Van Buuren - Brute

Super8 - Cre8 (Mike Saint-Jules Remix)

Ron Hagen & Alexander - Last Minute (Original Mix)

Sandeagle - 2 years

Simon O'Shine & Sergey Nevone - Last Goodbye

Temple One Feat. Neev Kennedy – Love The Fear (Original Mix)

You were like water
Slipping through my hand
That I couldn’t grasp
Or hold, couldn’t land

You were
A painting curved in the open sand
That the waves abducted
On sea demand

Between the shores of the oceans
The summits of the high
Where did it go wrong?

I’m gonna love the fear

I’m gonna love the fear
Like I’ve never been afraid before
It may break my heart to go

With the wind of change blowing
And all that sense of not knowing
Gotta love the fear
Let you go
It may break my heart to go

Mark Knopfler - What it is

The Drinking Dens Are Spilling Out
There's Staggering In The Square
There's Lads And Lasses Falling About
And A Crackling In The Air
Down Around The Dungeon Doors
The Shelters And The Queues
Everybody's Looking For
Somebody's Arms To Fall Into
And It's What It Is
It's What It Is Now

There's Frost On The Graves And The Monuments
But The Taverns Are Warm In Town
People Curse The Government
And Shovel Hot Food Down
The Lights Are Out In City Hall
The Castle And The Keep
The Moon Shines Down Upon It All
The Legless And Asleep

And It's Cold On The Tollgate
With The Wagons Creeping Through
Cold On The Tollgate
God Knows What I Could Do With You
And It's What It Is
It's What It Is Now

The Garrison Sleeps In The Citadel
With The Ghosts And The Ancient Stones
High Up On The Parapet
A Scottish Piper Stands Alone
And High On The Wind
The Highland Drums Begin To Roll
And Something From The Past Just Comes
And Stares Into My Soul

And It's Cold On The Tollgate
With The Caledonian Blues
Cold On The Tollgate
God Knows What I Could Do With You
And It's What It Is
It's What It Is Now
What It Is
It's What It Is Now

There's A Chink Of Light, There's A Burning Wick
There's A Lantern In The Tower
Wee Willie Winkie With A Candlestick
Still Writing Songs In The Wee Wee Hours
On Charlotte Street I Take
A Walking Stick From My Hotel
The Ghost Of Dirty Dick
Is Still In Search Of Little Nell
And It's What It Is
It's What It Is Now
Oh It's What It Is
What It Is Now

Super8 Tab feat Alyna - Perfect Day (Gareth Emery Remix)

I wondered if you noticed
As I pondered on emotions I sold
I wanted recognition
When I planned a low position in life

So I talk to all the angels
And I pray that they will listen to why
Why I need the understanding
Why I need the non demanding divide

This is not illusion
I don’t need intrusion
Let me have my perfect day

These feelings of elation
There’s comedy in patience
Now let me have my perfect day

I was born to break the silence
Anti war and violence, pro life
When they say the day is over
I have theory that is older than time

And there are plans that are above us
And we can demand that lovers unite
Like we are floating on an ocean
I am calmed by your devotion tonight

This is not illusion
I don’t need intrusion
Let me have my perfect day

These feelings of elation
There’s comedy in patience
Now let me have my perfect day